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键盘歌手 —— 独自绽放深挖洞，高筑墙，广积粮 16 Juli 狗日的爱情这是另一个某兄写的上一篇的姊妹篇，文中的XXX就是上文的作者某兄。
狗日的爱情----记XXX和X以及我荒唐但用心的“爱情”
和XXX是死党，大学四年我们俩住在一起的时候很长很长。大一大二的时候我们一起熬夜做东西到三四点，一起睡觉到中午，一起喝酒，一起上QQ聊天泡MM，还美其名曰“XXX贱客”，一起互相吐露彼此的心思，一起憧憬未来，一起渴望爱情。大三，他和X在一起的时候，他兴冲冲的跑来第一个告诉我，那个时候的表情好像一个可爱的孩子找到了自己喜爱的糖果，眼中闪耀着喜悦的光芒，人也好像年轻了好多岁（呵呵，我们那个时候住在一个破旧的房子里做事，经常邋遢的不洗脸，不洗澡，很久才换洗衣服，象几个三四十岁的中年人）。半夜他还津津有味的回味他们相遇的那刻。我不以为然，奉劝说把她弄到房子来先那个了再说，免得又飞了。我吃点亏，出去看个通宵电影。（那段日子我们都极度空虚无聊寂寞饥渴，经常幻想上网找个MM来这边发生一夜情等等，但是遗憾，我们至今仍然没有实现这个愿望）。可是这个时候他却很严肃的说：不，我还是为我们以后着想的。我似乎真的爱上她了。“似乎，就你，哈哈”我奚落到。 那段日子，我见证了他的爱情和他为爱情所做的事情。经常的，他在很晚的时候才回来，然后我们上网聊天抽烟喝酒吃宿舍外面卖的卤藕卤干子卤鸡蛋，话题大都仍旧是关于女人，关于他的爱情。但是每天早上当我醒来的时候他却已经不见踪影，可能是和X自习去了吧----大一大二我们都把精力花在做网站上，结果我积累了7、8课不及格，他也有红灯，还有可怜的四级没有过，到现在大四下了，仍旧没有过。哪知爱情的失败比起我们为自己兴趣所做的事情给学业带来了更大的打击，大三下，他只过了可怜的2门，其他全挂。而我在经过了一段荒唐的爱情后，到现在大四下了仍旧还有4、5门没有过。这是后话了。----每天我和他只能在深夜一两点别人都熄灯睡觉后，我们才开始我们的工作和惯例的话题（我们房间不受学校管制不熄灯）。而我在和X的接触及其晚上XXX灌输的关于他们伟大爱情的理论后，觉得，嗯，也许真是老天爷发了发善心，成全了XXX一个伟大的心愿。同时也想到了自己，那么我的爱，何时才能来到？呵呵，也许是我心诚，我在不久以后，也迎来了自己3年来的爱情，荒唐但用心。 不知道他们怎么的就分手了，对我很突然的，就象那天XXX跑过来对我说他有了MM一样，短短的半年时间，典型的速食方便面。那段日子，我们不停的喝酒，希望借以排遣我们心中的某些东西。半年也就过去了。真的不知道到今天，就在情人节来临前的日子，XXX却这样子（我们现在不在一起住了，很久没有彼此聊天了）。想想，当时的信誓旦旦，海枯石烂，分手时候的心冷如铁，心灰意冷，到现在渴望爱情回来的无力呐喊，再想想我，也是经过了三年等待，换来了短短半年爱情，却也在寒假过后这个分手高峰期遭遇分手。心中真的不是一番滋味。喝酒，喝到胃出血，抽烟，抽到肺冒烟，在对他妈的爱情深恶痛绝后，真的了解到，爱情，呵呵，真是他妈的狗日的爱情。 和XXX一样，我们的爱情存活期只有半年，但是，为了迎来她，我等了整整三年，然而，为了忘却她，我不知道要苟活多少年，或者只有一条路。
我的故事其实很荒诞。但是，爱情就是这样子。
也许，我们的相遇与相识本来就是个错误。那是我刚大二，也是在我们那个房子里面，当时除了我和XXX以外，还有另外一个大四的和我们住一起，我们关系都还不错。我们半夜的时候大多数也都是一边上网一边聊女人。他也给我们讲了很多他的风流往事，无数的女朋友，还有无数的性关系。那个时候我们真是很崇拜他的，呵呵，在那个方面他真的算是老手了。在某天半夜，我们聊着聊着说到了女人，他说在迎新的时候发现了他们系大一新来的一个MM，长的不错，于是决定泡她。我们也就鼓动着说，泡，泡，正好给我们实战演习一回，也好让我们看看你以前是不是在吹牛皮。呵呵，没有想到这个玩笑却成了我以后的一个坎，我这辈子都越不过去了。于是，我们限期一个星期，让他搞定了带到这边房子来给我们看看。呵呵，没有想到大一的MM真是好骗，不到一个星期，那是十月晴朗的一个下午，热的要命，我穿着一条短裤，搭拉着拖鞋，在房间里做事，心里却烦躁的要命。看来真的应该发生点什么事情的。门外防盗门“咚咚咚”的响了起来，我不耐烦的吼到：“谁啊，吵死了”。“是我，开门”，那个大四的家伙回来了。“妈的，自己没有钥匙不知道开门啊”。接着便听到哐啷哐啷开门的声音，然后他说到“你坐这边吧，我们这边比较乱，象个狗窝”。我不耐烦了“妈的，老子就是一条狗，不住狗窝住那边啊，金窝银窝不如老子的狗窝”。却没有回头理会他。这时，突然听到后面一个MM嘻嘻的笑声，不大，估计是捂着嘴的，但是在我心里面却掀起了一阵涟漪。我回头一瞥，扎着马尾辫，大大的眼睛闪闪的发光，干干净净的，并没有像我们当年一样因为军训的折磨变的跟黑碳一样。这~~~我~~~她~~~~，上次在LOVE版看到有人问相不相信一见钟情，我想，一见钟情肯定是有的，关键是看你遇不遇的到你一见钟情的对象。而这时，显然，我便是一见钟情了。不过我并没有为此而作些什么，因为我早已经猜到，她便是他提到的那个迎新时候的女孩子。我说了一句“你好。欢迎来到狗窝。请便。”便转过头继续我做的事情了。可是那个时候我心里面哪里还能平静，她在这边坐了大概不到半小时，而我却连十行代码都没有写完，还错误百出。晚上，我们聊到了她，他问我怎么样，我轻蔑的哼哼，没有回答。他却自言自语说道，一定要搞到她，因为一个星期的期限就要到了。而我，第一次没有参加半夜的谈话节目，独自在床上抽烟，留下一大堆床头的烟头。以后的日子过的很慢，他还是顺利的成为了她的男朋友。半夜，他还会讲和她亲热，在一起的一些细节，而这时候，我心里面却是百般难受。不过我和她还是成为了好朋友，因为和他关系算很好，我们也经常在一起吃饭，出去玩。她有时候也会跟我说一些知心的话，还叫我帮忙监视她的男朋友，但是，我所知道的关于他的风流往事我却没有告诉她，因为那个时候他们的感情真的还算不错，他对她很好，真的是很好的。
故事照旧在他毕业的时候起了变化，起初，他在W市工作，但是不久便调到别的城市工作，他们便分开了，过起了异地相恋的日子。每天也通电话，说彼此想你。我作为他的好友自然担当起了照顾她的责任，其实我心里面真的是很不舒服的，但是有些时候能够和她再一起，而且她可以把我当作朋友，我真的觉得很满足了，起码她现在有爱情，有友情，很幸福。但是时间和距离真的也许可以改变一些的。渐渐的，她们之间出现了问题，打电话还吵架。大三暑假我从上海实习回来，带了一套水晶的东方明珠塔回来给她作为礼物，她在学习双学位的课程。那天中午，我把水晶摆在桌子上，打电话说我回来了，一起吃顿饭，我还给你带了礼物。她高兴的答应了，还说请我吃算为我接风。哪知道我回来后却突然发现，水晶塔碎了，20几厘米高的塔断成了几段，都无法完整的合在一起了。我打电话给她说不好意思，我带给你的水晶不知道为什么无缘无故的碎了，对不起。她听了便哭了。我吃了一惊，不是把，至于嘛。便叫她下来给她陪不是。下楼后，我还笑嘻嘻的说不要紧，碎了我再给你补起来，还是好的。可是她自言自语的说碎了的就再也补不好了。我不知所以然，追问中，才知道她吃饭回去后便接到了他的电话，吵架了，很激烈，还说要分手......我愕然了，不是好好的么？怎么了？我？我这个时候真不知道该怎么办，我也不知道该怎么去劝说。晚上，我给他打了电话，问了问什么事情，还叫他哄哄她。哪知道在以后的几天，他们仍旧是无休止的吵架，他言语中还提及我，说她整天和我在一起。我听了感到吃惊不小，什么，和我一起？我把他和她都当朋友，我也只是在她有事找我帮忙的时候才见见她，我？！妈的。 以后我便没有找她了。但是她却频频找我，说在心情不好的时候要和我说说话。我还是陪了她。那天，他们吵的很凶，说是正式分手了。她找我，哭着说了好多好多话，还要喝酒。我给她买了一罐啤酒，坐在西边草场上，看着她喝酒。喝了不到一半，她便醉了，哭哭啼啼的说了很多话。我悄悄的倒掉了剩下的半罐啤酒，骗她说没有了，不要再喝了。可是她还喝，说不喝就要我唱歌给她听。我便坐在西边草场唱歌。《小薇》。我很喜欢的歌曲。“小薇啊，你可知道我多爱你”，她哭了，“没有人爱我了，他不要我了”她哭到。我心里也很不好受，我真的好像大声唱道，“XX，你可知道我多爱你”，可是我，没有说出口。我陪她默默的流下了眼泪。爱情，真的抵不过时间距离的分割吗？你可知道我是多么的爱你吗？ 整个暑假，我在陪她。有时候我真的不想和她在一起了，因为我和他、她都是朋友。我该怎么做呢？但是她却笑着说到，我失恋了，你陪陪我都不行么？我便天天和她在一起了。那个暑假，她一个人不停的说，不停的讲。要开学时，我说“其实，我喜欢你。从第一天你来狗窝的时候起”。 以后我们便在一起了。我真的很开心。我认真的小心的呵护着这份爱，我蕴藏了三年的爱。原来以为只要他们能够在一起，我便也算了。但是，现在，他们分手了。我便要给她所要的幸福。我对她说过，我只要你幸福开心就好。在这半年来时间，我真的很开心。她虽然还时不时的提到他，说现在一时之间忘不了他，也许有天她再去找他叫我别怪她。我笑笑。我不会的。只要你觉得他是你的幸福。但是以后几次，他毫不负责任的话语和所做也许真的彻底伤了她的心，她在他们冷战到分手大概有5个月的时候突然对我说，我和你在一起，我们毕业后到别的城市去。我说，真的，你问问你自己的心，好好想想，我真的是爱你的。但是在你心里呢？爱我有几分，你真的能够作到每天想他少一点，爱我多一点，直到你心里完完全全的是我么？你的心怎么想，你告诉我，我只要你说，你对我的爱会有满的那么一天么？ 良久，她说“嗯”。 我们在一起了。 这半年我几乎天天和她在一起。我决心要好好的爱她，一定要让她幸福。 我每天和你一起上自习
我上课下课去接你 我早上6点多起来陪你一起去W大上双学位的课 我帮你写论文 我帮你在你来例假腰疼的时候按摩 我时刻注意这段时间不让你吃冷的东西，而在你好的时候给你买百乐宝吃个够 我帮你淋雨买饭 我帮你去选修课考试 我在你生气的时候不管谁对谁错都道歉 我在你心情不好的时候充当她的出气筒 我帮你剥瓜子壳让你吃瓜子只是不想因为壳瓜子牙疼 我帮你按脚因为你逛街走的脚疼 我帮你洗不能机洗的羊毛衫，羊毛手套 我帮你削苹果梨子泡咖啡牛奶只是想让你长的PP的 我在你走不动时候背她走 我在你睡不着的时候打电话陪你聊天 我帮你掏耳朵说是希望他乖乖的听话 我帮你剪指甲说是不希望被她挖 我吃饭时候吃你打的白菜让你吃我打的肉 我在你冻的手疼的时候让你把手深进我衣服里取暖 我在我们关系好的亲密无间的时候一起住仍不碰你，只是说我爱你，在你爱我也满的时候，在你真的愿意的时候 ...... 我尽力无微不至的去爱她，去关心她。这一切都只是因为我爱他，而且我希望她早日忘却不开心的事情，和我一起幸福。真的，有时候，我的确感到了幸福的味道真的在我身边环绕，她也说会好好的和我再一起，要和我一起生活。过去的只能过去。我不可置否。我说，你要是真的还是想他，我会送你去看他的。我会接你回来的。那么你会恨我么？会不理我么？会讨厌我么？呵呵，怎么会，我是爱你的。我知道你也喜欢我，只是现在还不是全部的喜欢。说实话，我怎么舍得你离开，怎么舍得你在走。有些时候，我故作无所谓只是不希望你在难过，你在伤心。
不只一次的。你对我说你不会再像以前的，要好好的过好以后，好好的对我。但更多时候，我只是点点头，笑笑。因为我知道，在她心里面，他是在短时间难以消除的，毕竟这是她的初恋。她付出真心的初恋。我只希望有那么一天，你爱我的心会是全满，那样就够了。她说会的。
第一次，她说要好好对我，不想从前了，我笑笑，说我知道，我知道，我知道你会的。
第二次，她说要做我乖乖的MM，乖乖的老婆，我笑笑，说我知道，我知道，你本来就是我乖乖的女朋友。 第三次，她说要毕业后到别的城市去，要我赚好多好多钱买好吃的好穿的好玩的，我笑笑，说我会的我会的，我会把你养的白白胖胖的。 第四次，她说叫我别再提他，她会生气的，我笑笑，说我不提了不提了。 . . . 好多次好多次，她对我说要好好和我一起。 嗯，我知道了。 在放假的时候，我送她去火车站的时候，我说，我以后不在放你走了，以前你说如果你离去，你在去找他我都会说好好好，只要你回来，我接你，我等你。但是现在，我不准了，我要你和我再一起。她哭了，说，我不会了的，我说了我要好好对你了的。还像孩子一样，说我们拉勾，不许反悔。嗯，拉勾，上吊，直到老不许变。 在火车缓缓开离火车站的时候，我哭了，她也哭了，我舍不得她的。 寒假中，她打电话突然说他给她打了电话，还说他喝醉了。那一刻我真不知道我心里怎样的感受，那是放假第2天，这样我整个寒假哪里都没有去。我也没有再跟她打电话。她还是每天一个电话的例行公事的和我说话，我也象什么事情没有一样和她聊天。我说我想你，她也说，我也想你，否则怎么会给你打电话啊？呵，我真的是很想她，无时无刻，我都想给她打电话，她每天只是想我一次么？
除夕。我打电话说祝你新年好。你有什么愿望啊，新的一年？我还特意提到了元旦的时候我们彼此说新年愿望的事情。那时侯我说的是希望你越来越开心幸福，她说是希望我越来越爱她。那一刻，我真的很开心，因为我以为她真的是想和我在一起的。但是这次，她说，什么愿望？我没有什么愿望。元旦的？我忘记了。我说哦，我还是祝你越来越开心幸福。然后便挂断了电话。 电话一断，直到今天，她打电话到学校说8号过来，还说在XX火车站，叫我不要去接她，还说我不知道XX火车站再那里，吗的。老子在W市呆了四年。连XX火车站都不知道在哪里么？？？？为什么 ？？？？？为什么？？？？！！！
对不起 ------------ 在我写到这里的时候 ，XXX来找我喝酒，我们喝了一斤，大概不能再写了 ，离别就是如此，爱情也是一样。没有什么的。
狗日的爱情。
我爱XX。 分手后的告白整理硬盘，偶然发现某兄的一封与女友分手后的真情告白。其情也真矣，其意也切矣！弗敢删之，恐此真情流露遗失于记忆之海洋，故贴于网上，以飨某兄与读者。
文中地名与人名俱以代号代之。不知道多少年过后，某兄你还能记得自己当时的那一段撕心裂肺的感情吗？
X：
现在已经凌晨4点了，但我还是久久不能入睡，一打开电脑，就是你的照片，反复地端详着你，反复放着《暗香》。不知道为什么，我浑身是颤抖的，眼泪早已湿润了桌面，这样的夜晚已经是寒假以来第不知多少个了。 上个学期自己活得很累，或许可以说一直在身边寻找你的影子，也找到了很多极其相似的，却一直没找着最初的那种感觉。很想在路上经常碰到你，像往常那样，想看看你的样子，但却那么的渺茫。每次和与你相貌有些相似的女孩子交谈，我总是无意间问她是不是处女座的，问她喜不喜欢品冠，孙燕姿，问她知不知道这世界上有《人间》这首歌。 放假在家的日子里，每天不断以酒和失眠度日，本想回学校就好了，但回来以后，看着这么多感伤的场景和事物，看到你，不知道感伤了又多少倍。这可能是老天对我的报应吧，可我知道，我心里一直想的是一个多么美好的爱情故事，故事里的女主人公是多么真，多么对爱执着。在我的印象中，她是一个会拼到爱尽头，心若在灿烂中死去的女孩。是因为故事感动了而流泪，还是因为故事不会重生而难过，我不知道。
从前有一个痴痴傻傻的男孩子，他年少无知，不懂得什么是爱，更没有得到过别人的爱。他一个人整日呆在一个只属于他自己的没落的小屋里，那里除了一台破旧的电脑陪着他，还有一张光床外，没有人关心过他，他憔悴，他没落，甚至连一个月也不洗一次澡。这样的男孩子怎么会被别人喜欢，因此他孤独，甚至在别人看来 ，他很可怜。就这样年复一年，日复一日，就是两年。
突然有一天，一个多么美丽，多么真，多么纯的女孩子闯入了他的生活。那是一个W市难得的晴天，在东一食堂门口那条熙熙攘攘的小路上，在茫茫人海中，他们相遇了！从此以后，一切都改变了，没落的小屋从一个人变成了两个人，仿佛没那么寂静了，男孩也没那么孤独了。虽然小屋还那么脏，那么没落，但她从不嫌弃，虽然男孩子穿着也很没落，但她也不嫌弃。在她看来，他是一个自由，洒脱，对世情不羁的人，这足够了。虽然他们两人都有被别人说点什么，但他们毫不在意。总之，什么也不能阻挡他们在一起！
那晚，对于他们两个来说，都是这辈子都不会忘怀的一天，而且这辈子不会再有了，因为，对于他们来说，这都是这一生的第一次。 “你觉得我这个人怎么样？” “我觉得我的感觉是对的！” “那你觉得我有资格做你的男朋友吗？” “应该可以吧！”女孩笑了！ 多么平淡的言语，但这平淡的言语后又是多么撕心裂肺般的告白，多么的发自内心。 在女孩看来， 这一切仿佛就像是做梦，“我遇见了我的白马王子，如此巧合，如此浪漫，像年少时的梦，完美无缺……”
她无数次地不敢相信，但她一直跟着感觉走，跟着那为无数人不屑、无数人鄙夷的感觉走，走了一遭又一遭，不知疲倦，不知痛苦。在她就快被它撕裂的时候，它来了，如此清澈、透明，她遇到了她的白马王子，一生一世。 在男孩看来，他第一次被人疼，第一次摆脱了孤独，他一次有一次的告诉自己，现在是两个人了，他终于获得了爱。他恨不得向全世界告白“我有女朋友了！”。。。
就这样，他们在一起了，在校园里，他们是多么令人羡慕的一对，他们手牵着手整日穿梭于校园的东西两边，她从西边到东边，他再从西边到东边，仿佛永远不知道疲倦。甚至，他们手牵着手吃饭，手牵着手上自习，他们都觉得这段感情来之不易，因此彼此珍惜！总之，他们坚信彼此的双手永远不会分开，永远感受着对方的体温！
他们都需要彼此的照顾。她身体不好，尤其是常犯胃病，甚至体质也很弱，他很为她担心，真的！有一天，她胃病犯了，他很着急，他为了她不会有事，他送她去医院了。当时已经很晚了，用她那辆怀旧式的自行车，他载着她，车子骑得飞快，仿佛风雨无阻……
瞬间，车速越飞越快，仿佛超越了光速，超越了时空，这辆车一下子把他们带到了50年后，那里有一片美丽的草坪，月色依旧怡人，他们仿佛经历了很多似的，一个个风尘仆仆，头发都白了，路也走不动了，但他们的心仍依旧，虽然对方都变老了、变丑了，他们还依旧爱着对方，坚持永不分离！草坪上坐满他们的儿女们，他们早已等候两位老人多时，因为哈雷慧星今晚将在天空划过，这是两位老人儿时的梦想。。。 多么浪漫感人的爱情故事。虽然对很多人来讲，他算不了什么，可对我来说。。。。
那天从你家出来，我又来到了江边。那天天很冷，天台甚至很冷清，已经没有了往日的喧闹。但故事中的主人公还在那里，他们真挚的对着江水大喊：“我爱你！我爱你！我爱你！。。。。。。” 我想走进仔细看看他们的样子，但刚一走进，他们都消失了，仿佛在故意躲着我似的！上天，你知道吗？我现在是多么的无助，难道你连我这一小小的请求都要捉弄我吗？？ 离开江边，回到了学校，我从南大门进去，来到了久违的南二舍，透过南二后面的窗子，我看到了现在的140，仿佛一切都没变，摆设还在 ，床还在，连墙上的字画和工作条例一个没少。为什么世隔6个月了，这间房子一直没人住呢？
还记得去年7月份吗？我从家回来，我们一起在这里收拾东西，那是我们最后一次告别这里，告别了我们彼此相依死守的地方，告别了我的大学！“再见拉，140：）”。。。那个时候的我们是多么幸福，此时此刻，我发现自己的眼眶又湿润了。。。以前听你说过，当你每次经过南二时都会哭，现在会吗？ 昨天一个人中午吃了饭后，自己仿佛发了疯似的绕着西操场跑了好几圈，然后躺在西操场我们常躺的地方，闭上已经被泪水模糊的双眼，静静的聆听。我想我要坚强，我要站起来，我更希望一个人来踢我一脚，让我清醒，等我刚刚睁开眼睛的时候，多么希望那个踢醒我的人是你。
当现在的你来到我的身旁，我发现，平静的你是如此的美丽！真的想抱住你，吻你……但我不能！
你知道吗，你的这份美丽让我凭添了许多痛苦？我拽着我的心向你近似乞求的说：“不要离开我，好不好！不要分手，好不好！不要伤害我，好不好！”
你仍然是那么平静……难道你就不知道那是我在伤痕累累的苦痛中的挣扎吗？你就不知道那是为了守住我那份唯一的爱情而做出的哀求吗？你就不知道那是一个男人为了挽救爱情而情愿跪在你面前的请求吗？你就真的在你曾经爱过的人面前焚毁他的爱情吗？难道你就一点都看不出我已经是用最后的力气强支撑着自己不要倒下吗？……
你不回答我，上帝不告诉我，黑夜不吱声，星星躲着不露脸，月亮冷漠的看着我，大地无声的数着我的伤痕……茫茫无际的黑暗中，我试图寻找那些一个又一个的为什么，但，我哪里能找的到？
拼命地抽烟，让早已不堪重负的肺感受这份沉重，体味这种痛苦……
那在黑暗中红色的烟头怎么在不停的晃动？我握住我的手背，才发现我的手在抖……不，还有臂，还有身体，还有腿，我的全身都控制不住地在颤抖，还有，还有我的心，我的爱，我的灵魂，我的生命！
来到了十三栋门前的那片空地，我看到了我们第一次亲吻时的情景，我看到了每天和你说再见时依依不舍吻你的情景，我看到了我们热烈拥吻时的情景……
那是的你，是多么不希望我走，多么希望我多逗留一会，多么希望能多在我的肩膀上依靠一会…… 这，是多么的熟悉，又是多么的陌生……
这，是多么的幸福，又是多么的痛苦……
这，是多么的清晰，又是多么的模糊……
这，原本是让我那么的快乐，现在却让我那么悲伤……
泪水，它终于又一次冲过被我自己击溃的最后一道防线，不顾一切的流了出来……
夜已黑，人已去，泪已干，心已冷，烟已尽，人已麻木！
还是只能自己站起来，还是只能自己陪自己走路，悲伤、痛苦还是只能自己一个人承受……
你会哭吗？看见我哭的时候你心里会哭吗？在你离开我的那个瞬间你哭了吗？我问你，也问我自己！无从找到答案。
结束了，真的一切都结束了？ 你说你的爱情已死，只剩下躯壳和一段无比甜蜜的回忆，其实更多的是阴影……
想着你的好，想着你的坏，想着你的香，想着你的吻，想着你的一切……我泪流满面，但无声。
这段时间，我现在仿佛一下子长大了很多，你让我明白了什么是真正的爱？但明白了以后你又走了。我终于能几乎完美的理解你当初的想法，其实真的存在很多误会！你误会了我很多，我也误会了你很多。那篇儿子弑母的新闻完全是出于无意识的发给你的，其实我有个习惯，就是自己觉得很震撼的新闻发给别人，不止发给你一个人，而是发给很多人。
现在回想起来，那个时候的你是多么希望我来温暖你，保护你，照顾你！而我的做法正好相反，让你多多锻炼！ 我知道你根本没有变，而是在当初的重压下，不，是急剧的重压和困难下，让你无法承受，而是用另外一种方法解脱~ 而我却以为在你去旅游前一切都很平常，但当你回来后却变的如此残酷，对我如此冷漠？我问自己，那是你吗？我甚至在想，是不是出现了第三者之类的，以及一些别的胡思乱想。我当初想帮你，我和你妈妈都想帮你，但我们知道要慢慢来，不要急，所以我和你见面的时候还是不想提那些事情，想让你仍旧快乐起来！所以当你突然提出分手的时候，我很恨你！ 当花朵已经凋零，而种子不再发芽；
当黑夜还在继续，而黎明不再到来； 当鲜血还在流淌，而伤口不愿愈合； 我不知道，是否还有重新去爱的勇气。曾经的欢笑，仍然能轻易勾动我的心弦；过去的誓言，仍然能轻易赚取我的眼泪。心碎的声音你是否能够听见？ 听说伟大的爱情能够包容一切；听说真心的牵手不惧任何考验。如果是真的相爱，为什么你不能给我恕罪的机会？曾经的幼稚为何又能成为我们永远的障碍呢？ 当我在你冷漠的目光中痛苦的挣扎，你是否有过一丝心痛？当我为了挽留这份爱情一次次的努力，你可曾有过一丝感动？曾几何时，黑夜会让我如此的恐惧，只因为黑夜的宁静会让我忆起欢乐的往事啊；从何时起，你的名字会让我如此的心痛，只以为它会让我的心碎成一片一片啊！成熟的爱情会结果，不成熟的爱情会结疤。只是心已破碎，疤又何存？ 所有的密码还是你的生日，每输入一次，心就会痛一次。可恨的是我已经迷上了这份疼痛，因为只有痛苦才能提醒我现实的残酷：人去怀空何所似，借旧消愁一醉翁！ 我一次又一次的想，如果我们还能在一起，我将怎样怎样。如果我们还能在一起，我将再也不能怎样怎样。 X，让我用已经被烫伤的心来再一次抚慰你，抚平你的创伤和阴影，用我所有的爱，真挚的爱，一生一世的爱。。。。。。 永远爱你的XXX 10 Juni New glasses在大学时期配的老眼镜终于退休了。今天在小白夫妇的陪同下，去专尚配了一幅新的眼镜──眼睛毕竟是心灵的窗户啊，也该擦擦了 ：） PS.从大学配的眼镜到现在，我的视力似乎一点都没下降，不错，呵呵~~~ 29 Mai Da-la-di-la，钟意它，钟意它去年24，今年还是24，我喜欢这智能化的msn space年龄显示！我用得着“老黄瓜刷绿漆——装嫩”吗？原来我就是这么嫩耶～
配音一下以表示自己抑制不住的兴奋：哦呵～，呀哈～，啊哒哒哒哒～，啾啾啾啾～，哼哼哈嘿～～～！！！ 24 Mai 人不能无耻到这地步要是一个国家的“科学家”、“学者”、“知识分子”连脸都不要了，大概这个国家也就没希望了。本来Mainland China的形象就不咋地，这次Mr Chen的丑闻更是加深了中国人是小偷的印象，不信你看看纽约时报是怎么评论的的...... In a Scientist's Fall, China Feels Robbed of Glory
Associated Press
Chen Jin, the Chinese computer scientist accused of fraud.
Published: May 15, 2006
SHANGHAI, May 14 — Not very long ago, China saw itself as a nation on the verge of a technological breakthrough. But today, China appears shocked and shamed by a scandal that has already begun to tarnish that vision. It involves a top computer scientist, Chen Jin, who became a national hero in 2003 when he said he had created one of China's first digital signal processing computer chips, sophisticated microchips that can process digitized data for mobile phones, cameras and other electronic devices. His milestone seemed to hold the promise of helping close the enormous gaps with the West in science and technology. On Friday, however, the government said it was all a fraud. The distinguished scientist, the government said, had faked research conducted at Jiaotong University and simply stolen his chip designs from a foreign company, then passed them off as his own. Mr. Chen, who has not admitted wrongdoing in the case, declined to comment when he was reached on Sunday by telephone. "This is not the right moment to talk," he said. In a society where honor is particularly important and where the fear of public shame runs especially deep, the story of Mr. Chen has a profound resonance. Now, after all the honors and accolades bestowed on this 37-year-old favorite son, who returned home to China from the United States with a Ph.D. from the University of Texas at Austin six years ago, people here are beginning to question whether China is pushing its leading thinkers too hard to innovate and catch up with the West. Could Mr. Chen's downfall, they ask, represent an example of how even smart and successful people in China are being forced to cut corners to meet the nation's hyper-ambitious goals? "There's now a national competition going on in China, and there are very high expectations on scholars returning from the West," said Bai Ruoyun, a media specialist from China who is now a researcher at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. "They're paid very handsome salaries and given lots of incentives to achieve. And in return, these scholars are expected to produce some concrete results." China has been notorious for its intellectual property violations — and for stealing technology and skills from the West. But suddenly, things seem different, because technology, largely the Internet, is making it all too easy to detect such thefts. Mr. Chen's downfall began last December when a whistle-blower posted a message on an Internet bulletin board here. The message, and letters to the government and his university, led to an avalanche of scrutiny and bad publicity. That ended Friday, when Mr. Chen was fired from his posts at Jiaotong University and stripped of his honors and privileges. Although he was not well known in the West, Mr. Chen was considered one of China's brightest young scientists. He had received a huge grant from Beijing, headed his own research institute and was a dean at one of China's most prestigious universities. Prime Minister Wen Jiabao had even visited his research lab. Now, his university has labeled him "despicable" and Beijing has vowed that he will never again be allowed to do government research. No longer content with being the world's low-cost factory floor, China desperately wants to show it can compete as a scientific and technological power. Mr. Chen symbolized their drive. When he announced the results of his research at a series of press conferences here in 2003 and 2004, he smiled for the cameras and held up a glasslike plate bearing a new family of Chinese born computer chips, dubbed "the Hanxin," or China chip. Newspapers here called it a "breakthrough" that could help end foreign dominance of the chip industry. How Mr. Chen and his team convinced a nation — and a large group of scientific experts in government and industry — is still unknown. Whether he or members of his research team face criminal charges is also unclear. People who know Mr. Chen are perplexed. "He was really brilliant," said Yang Yunxia, a Microsoft employee here. "None of us can understand this." But chip industry officials here say there is enormous pressure on Chinese scientists to create their own homegrown computer chips. They say the government has made it a major priority. According to former colleagues, press accounts and his own writings, Mr. Chen was born in coastal Fujian Province in 1968, along with a twin brother. He earned a bachelor's degree at Tongji University in Shanghai and then, in 1991, moved to the United States to study computer engineering at the University of Texas at Austin. In 1998, he earned a Ph.D. there while working at Motorola's Austin research center. While in Texas, he wrote several scientific papers with Jacob A. Abraham, a professor of computer engineering and his dissertation supervisor. "He was a good student," Professor Abraham said by telephone. "His Ph.D. research involved some innovative ideas for testing analog circuits." In 2000, he told The Portland Oregonian that he was taking a sizable cut in his $80,000 salary at Motorola to return to China. Back home, he worked at Motorola's Suzhou research center, not far from Shanghai, before taking a job at Jiaotong University, the alma mater of former President Jiang Zemin. By then, designing a powerful digital signal processing chip, or D.S.P., had become a priority of the government. Texas Instruments is a leader in the field. No Chinese company had been very successful. Within two years, Mr. Chen announced what he said was his creation: a digital signal processor that could process 200 million instructions per second. Mr. Chen and high-level government officials called a news conference in February 2003 to announce his achievement. The headlines in China read, "Homegrown Digital Chip Developed" and "China Makes Breakthrough in Chip Development." Some articles said that China was spending billions of dollars buying foreign-made chips to put in electronics equipment. Now, they suggested, China could use its own. Mr. Chen was named founding dean of the microelectronics school at Jiaotong. He directed a university research center. He was heavily financed by the government. And he was named a Chang Jiang Scholar, a title with privileges given to a select group of China's best young scholars, by Beijing. He was only 35. Since then, Mr. Chen has overseen a lab of more than 100 researchers and created his own family of private companies. According to the state-owned press, several of these companies design chips, including one based in Texas that was founded with the help of a former Texas classmate. When he announced creation of the even faster Hanxin II and III in 2004, the Ministry of Education, the Ministry of Science and Technology, the National Reform and Development Commission and the Shanghai government were all helping to finance his operations. Chinese news reports said there were orders for 3.5 million chips, with possible deals from major companies like I.B.M. But late last year, according to these reports, the whistle-blowers came forward. Some colleagues who had a dispute with Mr. Chen began contacting the government. They claimed, according to the news reports, that migrant workers had simply scratched away the name Motorola from a chip and replaced it with Hanxin. Presumably, that early version of Hanxin was a foreign company's chip, the specifications of which Mr. Chen or an associate could give to manufacturers to mass-produce under the Hanxin name. The whistle-blowers also gave details of an array of companies that Mr. Chen operated to profit from the big government contracts he received, including a company called Ensoc, which was registered in Austin. Indeed, there were lengthy press reports about the chip scandal well before the government investigation was completed this year. Friday, however, the official New China News agency reported that government had concluded that Mr. Chen had faked the findings. The government in Beijing canceled the Hanxin project and recalled all of its scientific funds. "The underlying problem is that the Chinese government has not established a rule of law for research and development," said Reed Hundt, the former chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, in an interview Sunday. Mr. Hundt is also the author of a forthcoming book, "In China's Shadow: The Crisis of American Entrepreneurship." He said he saw the story of Mr. Chen as a cautionary tale. Sunday, on the campus of Jiaotong here, several students expressed dismay at the scandal, worrying about how it might affect their careers, but also wondering whether Mr. Chen was unfairly singled out in a country where plagiarism and academic scandals have come to seem endemic. "Professor Chen is really unlucky," said a male student named Wu, who asked not to be further identified for fear of recriminations. "He lied and was caught. I think there are other people faking their research, but they haven't been caught yet. He's probably not the worst." Another male student named Wang, who also would not give his first name and cited the same reason, said: "I'm not surprised by the scandal. Now a lot of professors are like businessmen. They are good at talking and promotion, and many of them have their own companies and make as much money as they can." Not far away, a reporter was turned away from Mr. Chen's office; a guard said he was in it. Near the door was a large photograph of Mr. Chen giving a tour of his research lab to top officials, including the former leader of Hong Kong and Prime Minister Wen.
11 Mai 家住八十楼 zt转自阿亮的blog。 家住八十楼 有一对兄弟，他们家住在八十层楼上。有一天他们出去爬山，回来的时候，却发现大楼停电了！虽然他们背着一大包行李，但看来别无选择，于是哥哥对弟弟说：“我们爬楼梯上去吧！” 07 Mai 垃圾邮件猛于虎4月24号回家，5月7号打开收件箱一看，一共收到266封邮件，其中垃圾邮件占了241封！幸好有K9替我过滤，否则光剔除垃圾邮件这个工作也大概够把我累得X尽人亡的吧？
唉，垃圾邮件猛于虎也！ 11 April How To Do What You Love在ash的blog上看到的，读了一遍发现挺好，就贴到这里来了。:)
原文作者是Paul Graham，原文链接在:http://www.paulgraham.com/love.html
To do something well you have to like it. That idea is not exactly novel. We've got it down to four words: "Do what you love." But it's not enough just to tell people that. Doing what you love is complicated.
The very idea is foreign to what most of us learn as kids. When I was a kid, it seemed as if work and fun were opposites by definition. Life had two states: some of the time adults were making you do things, and that was called work; the rest of the time you could do what you wanted, and that was called playing. Occasionally the things adults made you do were fun, just as, occasionally, playing wasn't-- for example, if you fell and hurt yourself. But except for these few anomalous cases, work was pretty much defined as not-fun. And it did not seem to be an accident. School, it was implied, was tedious because it was preparation for grownup work. The world then was divided into two groups, grownups and kids. Grownups, like some kind of cursed race, had to work. Kids didn't, but they did have to go to school, which was a dilute version of work meant to prepare us for the real thing. Much as we disliked school, the grownups all agreed that grownup work was worse, and that we had it easy. Teachers in particular all seemed to believe implicitly that work was not fun. Which is not surprising: work wasn't fun for most of them. Why did we have to memorize state capitals instead of playing dodgeball? For the same reason they had to watch over a bunch of kids instead of lying on a beach. You couldn't just do what you wanted. I'm not saying we should let little kids do whatever they want. They may have to be made to work on certain things. But if we make kids work on dull stuff, it might be wise to tell them that tediousness is not the defining quality of work, and indeed that the reason they have to work on dull stuff now is so they can work on more interesting stuff later. [1] Once, when I was about 9 or 10, my father told me I could be whatever I wanted when I grew up, so long as I enjoyed it. I remember that precisely because it seemed so anomalous. It was like being told to use dry water. Whatever I thought he meant, I didn't think he meant work could literally be fun-- fun like playing. It took me years to grasp that. Jobs By high school, the prospect of an actual job was on the horizon. Adults would sometimes come to speak to us about their work, or we would go to see them at work. It was always understood that they enjoyed what they did. In retrospect I think one may have: the private jet pilot. But I don't think the bank manager really did. The main reason they all acted as if they enjoyed their work was presumably the upper-middle class convention that you're supposed to. It would not merely be bad for your career to say that you despised your job, but a social faux-pas. Why is it conventional to pretend to like what you do? The first sentence of this essay explains that. If you have to like something to do it well, then the most successful people will all like what they do. That's where the upper-middle class tradition comes from. Just as houses all over America are full of chairs that are, without the owners even knowing it, nth-degree imitations of chairs designed 250 years ago for French kings, conventional attitudes about work are, without the owners even knowing it, nth-degree imitations of the attitudes of people who've done great things. What a recipe for alienation. By the time they reach an age to think about what they'd like to do, most kids have been thoroughly misled about the idea of loving one's work. School has trained them to regard work as an unpleasant duty. Having a job is said to be even more onerous than schoolwork. And yet all the adults claim to like what they do. You can't blame kids for thinking "I am not like these people; I am not suited to this world." Actually they've been told three lies: the stuff they've been taught to regard as work in school is not real work; grownup work is not (necessarily) worse than schoolwork; and many of the adults around them are lying when they say they like what they do. The most dangerous liars can be the kids' own parents. If you take a boring job to give your family a high standard of living, as so many people do, you risk infecting your kids with the idea that work is boring. [2] Maybe it would be better for kids in this one case if parents were not so unselfish. A parent who set an example of loving their work might help their kids more than an expensive house. [3] It was not till I was in college that the idea of work finally broke free from the idea of making a living. Then the important question became not how to make money, but what to work on. Ideally these coincided, but some spectacular boundary cases (like Einstein in the patent office) proved they weren't identical. The definition of work was now to make some original contribution to the world, and in the process not to starve. But after the habit of so many years my idea of work still included a large component of pain. Work still seemed to require discipline, because only hard problems yielded grand results, and hard problems couldn't literally be fun. Surely one had to force oneself to work on them. If you think something's supposed to hurt, you're less likely to notice if you're doing it wrong. That about sums up my experience of graduate school. Bounds How much are you supposed to like what you do? Unless you know that, you don't know when to stop searching. And if, like most people, you underestimate it, you'll tend to stop searching too early. You'll end up doing something chosen for you by your parents, or the desire to make money, or prestige-- or sheer inertia. Here's an upper bound: Do what you love doesn't mean, do what you would like to do most this second. Even Einstein probably had moments when he wanted to have a cup of coffee, but told himself he ought to finish what he was working on first. It used to perplex me when I read about people who liked what they did so much that there was nothing they'd rather do. There didn't seem to be any sort of work I liked that much. If I had a choice of (a) spending the next hour working on something or (b) be teleported to Rome and spend the next hour wandering about, was there any sort of work I'd prefer? Honestly, no. But the fact is, almost anyone would rather, at any given moment, float about in the Carribbean, or have sex, or eat some delicious food, than work on hard problems. The rule about doing what you love assumes a certain length of time. It doesn't mean, do what will make you happiest this second, but what will make you happiest over some longer period, like a week or a month. Unproductive pleasures pall eventually. After a while you get tired of lying on the beach. If you want to stay happy, you have to do something. As a lower bound, you have to like your work more than any unproductive pleasure. You have to like what you do enough that the concept of "spare time" seems mistaken. Which is not to say you have to spend all your time working. You can only work so much before you get tired and start to screw up. Then you want to do something else-- even something mindless. But you don't regard this time as the prize and the time you spend working as the pain you endure to earn it. I put the lower bound there for practical reasons. If your work is not your favorite thing to do, you'll have terrible problems with procrastination. You'll have to force yourself to work, and when you resort to that the results are distinctly inferior. To be happy I think you have to be doing something you not only enjoy, but admire. You have to be able to say, at the end, wow, that's pretty cool. This doesn't mean you have to make something. If you learn how to hang glide, or to speak a foreign language fluently, that will be enough to make you say, for a while at least, wow, that's pretty cool. What there has to be is a test. So one thing that falls just short of the standard, I think, is reading books. Except for some books in math and the hard sciences, there's no test of how well you've read a book, and that's why merely reading books doesn't quite feel like work. You have to do something with what you've read to feel productive. I think the best test is one Gino Lee taught me: to try to do things that would make your friends say wow. But it probably wouldn't start to work properly till about age 22, because most people haven't had a big enough sample to pick friends from before then. Sirens What you should not do, I think, is worry about the opinion of anyone beyond your friends. You shouldn't worry about prestige. Prestige is the opinion of the rest of the world. When you can ask the opinions of people whose judgement you respect, what does it add to consider the opinions of people you don't even know? [4] This is easy advice to give. It's hard to follow, especially when you're young. [5] Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. It causes you to work not on what you like, but what you'd like to like. That's what leads people to try to write novels, for example. They like reading novels. They notice that people who write them win Nobel prizes. What could be more wonderful, they think, than to be a novelist? But liking the idea of being a novelist is not enough; you have to like the actual work of novel-writing if you're going to be good at it; you have to like making up elaborate lies. Prestige is just fossilized inspiration. If you do anything well enough, you'll make it prestigious. Plenty of things we now consider prestigious were anything but at first. Jazz comes to mind-- though almost any established art form would do. So just do what you like, and let prestige take care of itself. Prestige is especially dangerous to the ambitious. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, the way to do it is to bait the hook with prestige. That's the recipe for getting people to give talks, write forewords, serve on committees, be department heads, and so on. It might be a good rule simply to avoid any prestigious task. If it didn't suck, they wouldn't have had to make it prestigious. Similarly, if you admire two kinds of work equally, but one is more prestigious, you should probably choose the other. Your opinions about what's admirable are always going to be slightly influenced by prestige, so if the two seem equal to you, you probably have more genuine admiration for the less prestigious one. The other big force leading people astray is money. Money by itself is not that dangerous. When something pays well but is regarded with contempt, like telemarketing, or prostitution, or personal injury litigation, ambitious people aren't tempted by it. That kind of work ends up being done by people who are "just trying to make a living." (Tip: avoid any field whose practitioners say this.) The danger is when money is combined with prestige, as in, say, corporate law, or medicine. A comparatively safe and prosperous career with some automatic baseline prestige is dangerously tempting to someone young, who hasn't thought much about what they really like. The test of whether people love what they do is whether they'd do it even if they weren't paid for it-- even if they had to work at another job to make a living. How many corporate lawyers would do their current work if they had to do it for free, in their spare time, and take day jobs as waiters to support themselves? This test is especially helpful in deciding between different kinds of academic work, because fields vary greatly in this respect. Most good mathematicians would work on math even if there were no jobs as math professors, whereas in the departments at the other end of the spectrum, the availability of teaching jobs is the driver: people would rather be English professors than work in ad agencies, and publishing papers is the way you compete for such jobs. Math would happen without math departments, but it is the existence of English majors, and therefore jobs teaching them, that calls into being all those thousands of dreary papers about gender and identity in the novels of Conrad. No one does that kind of thing for fun. The advice of parents will tend to err on the side of money. It seems safe to say there are more undergrads who want to be novelists and whose parents want them to be doctors than who want to be doctors and whose parents want them to be novelists. The kids think their parents are "materialistic." Not necessarily. All parents tend to be more conservative for their kids than they would for themselves, simply because, as parents, they share risks more than rewards. If your eight year old son decides to climb a tall tree, or your teenage daughter decides to date the local bad boy, you won't get a share in the excitement, but if your son falls, or your daughter gets pregnant, you'll have to deal with the consequences. Discipline With such powerful forces leading us astray, it's not surprising we find it so hard to discover what we like to work on. Most people are doomed in childhood by accepting the axiom that work = pain. Those who escape this are nearly all lured onto the rocks by prestige or money. How many even discover something they love to work on? A few hundred thousand, perhaps, out of billions. It's hard to find work you love; it must be, if so few do. So don't underestimate this task. And don't feel bad if you haven't succeeded yet. In fact, if you admit to yourself that you're discontented, you're a step ahead of most people, who are still in denial. If you're surrounded by colleagues who claim to enjoy work that you find contemptible, odds are they're lying to themselves. Not necessarily, but probably. Although doing great work takes less discipline than people think-- because the way to do great work is to find something you like so much that you don't have to force yourself to do it-- finding work you love does usually require discipline. Some people are lucky enough to know what they want to do when they're 12, and just glide along as if they were on railroad tracks. But this seems the exception. More often people who do great things have careers with the trajectory of a ping-pong ball. They go to school to study A, drop out and get a job doing B, and then become famous for C after taking it up on the side. Sometimes jumping from one sort of work to another is a sign of energy, and sometimes it's a sign of laziness. Are you dropping out, or boldly carving a new path? You often can't tell yourself. Plenty of people who will later do great things seem to be disappointments early on, when they're trying to find their niche. Is there some test you can use to keep yourself honest? One is to try to do a good job at whatever you're doing, even if you don't like it. Then at least you'll know you're not using dissatisfaction as an excuse for being lazy. Perhaps more importantly, you'll get into the habit of doing things well. Another test you can use is: always produce. For example, if you have a day job you don't take seriously because you plan to be a novelist, are you producing? Are you writing pages of fiction, however bad? As long as you're producing, you'll know you're not merely using the hazy vision of the grand novel you plan to write one day as an opiate. The view of it will be obstructed by the all too palpably flawed one you're actually writing. "Always produce" is also a heuristic for finding the work you love. If you subject yourself to that constraint, it will automatically push you away from things you think you're supposed to work on, toward things you actually like. "Always produce" will discover your life's work the way water, with the aid of gravity, finds the hole in your roof. Of course, figuring out what you like to work on doesn't mean you get to work on it. That's a separate question. And if you're ambitious you have to keep them separate: you have to make a conscious effort to keep your ideas about what you want from being contaminated by what seems possible. [6] It's painful to keep them apart, because it's painful to observe the gap between them. So most people pre-emptively lower their expectations. For example, if you asked random people on the street if they'd like to be able to draw like Leonardo, you'd find most would say something like "Oh, I can't draw." This is more a statement of intention than fact; it means, I'm not going to try. Because the fact is, if you took a random person off the street and somehow got them to work as hard as they possibly could at drawing for the next twenty years, they'd get surprisingly far. But it would require a great moral effort; it would mean staring failure in the eye every day for years. And so to protect themselves people say "I can't." Another related line you often hear is that not everyone can do work they love-- that someone has to do the unpleasant jobs. Really? How do you make them? In the US the only mechanism for forcing people to do unpleasant jobs is the draft, and that hasn't been invoked for over 30 years. All we can do is encourage people to do unpleasant work, with money and prestige. If there's something people still won't do, it seems as if society just has to make do without. That's what happened with domestic servants. For millennia that was the canonical example of a job "someone had to do." And yet in the mid twentieth century servants practically disappeared in rich countries, and the rich have just had to do without. So while there may be some things someone has to do, there's a good chance anyone saying that about any particular job is mistaken. Most unpleasant jobs would either get automated or go undone if no one were willing to do them. Two Routes There's another sense of "not everyone can do work they love" that's all too true, however. One has to make a living, and it's hard to get paid for doing work you love. There are two routes to that destination: the organic route: as you become more eminent, gradually to increase the parts of your job that you like at the expense of those you don't. The organic route is more common. It happens naturally to anyone who does good work. A young architect has to take whatever work he can get, but if he does well he'll gradually be in a position to pick and choose among projects. The disadvantage of this route is that it's slow and uncertain. Even tenure is not real freedom. The two-job route has several variants depending on how long you work for money at a time. At one extreme is the "day job," where you work regular hours at one job to make money, and work on what you love in your spare time. At the other extreme you work at something till you make enough not to have to work for money again. The two-job route is less common than the organic route, because it requires a deliberate choice. It's also more dangerous. Life tends to get more expensive as you get older, so it's easy to get sucked into working longer than you expected at the money job. Worse still, anything you work on changes you. If you work too long on tedious stuff, it will rot your brain. And the best paying jobs are most dangerous, because they require your full attention. The advantage of the two-job route is that it lets you jump over obstacles. The landscape of possible jobs isn't flat; there are walls of varying heights between different kinds of work. [7] The trick of maximizing the parts of your job that you like can get you from architecture to product design, but not, probably, to music. If you make money doing one thing and then work on another, you have more freedom of choice. Which route should you take? That depends on how sure you are of what you want to do, how good you are at taking orders, how much risk you can stand, and the odds that anyone will pay (in your lifetime) for what you want to do. If you're sure of the general area you want to work in and it's something people are likely to pay you for, then you should probably take the organic route. But if you don't know what you want to work on, or don't like to take orders, you may want to take the two-job route, if you can stand the risk. Don't decide too soon. Kids who know early what they want to do seem impressive, as if they got the answer to some math question before the other kids. They have an answer, certainly, but odds are it's wrong. A friend of mine who is a quite successful doctor complains constantly about her job. When people applying to medical school ask her for advice, she wants to shake them and yell "Don't do it!" (But she never does.) How did she get into this fix? In high school she already wanted to be a doctor. And she is so ambitious and determined that she overcame every obstacle along the way-- including, unfortunately, not liking it. Now she has a life chosen for her by a high-school kid. When you're young, you're given the impression that you'll get enough information to make each choice before you need to make it. But this is certainly not so with work. When you're deciding what to do, you have to operate on ridiculously incomplete information. Even in college you get little idea what various types of work are like. At best you may have a couple internships, but not all jobs offer internships, and those that do don't teach you much more about the work than being a batboy teaches you about playing baseball. In the design of lives, as in the design of most other things, you get better results if you use flexible media. So unless you're fairly sure what you want to do, your best bet may be to choose a type of work that could turn into either an organic or two-job career. That was probably part of the reason I chose computers. You can be a professor, or make a lot of money, or morph it into any number of other kinds of work. It's also wise, early on, to seek jobs that let you do many different things, so you can learn faster what various kinds of work are like. Conversely, the extreme version of the two-job route is dangerous because it teaches you so little about what you like. If you work hard at being a bond trader for ten years, thinking that you'll quit and write novels when you have enough money, what happens when you quit and then discover that you don't actually like writing novels? Most people would say, I'd take that problem. Give me a million dollars and I'll figure out what to do. But it's harder than it looks. Constraints give your life shape. Remove them and most people have no idea what to do: look at what happens to those who win lotteries or inherit money. Much as everyone thinks they want financial security, the happiest people are not those who have it, but those who like what they do. So a plan that promises freedom at the expense of knowing what to do with it may not be as good as it seems. Whichever route you take, expect a struggle. Finding work you love is very difficult. Most people fail. Even if you succeed, it's rare to be free to work on what you want till your thirties or forties. But if you have the destination in sight you'll be more likely to arrive at it. If you know you can love work, you're in the home stretch, and if you know what work you love, you're practically there. Notes [1] Currently we do the opposite: when we make kids do boring work, like arithmetic drills, instead of admitting frankly that it's boring, we try to disguise it with superficial decorations. [2] One father told me about a related phenomenon: he found himself concealing from his family how much he liked his work. When he wanted to go to work on a saturday, he found it easier to say that it was because he "had to" for some reason, rather than admitting he preferred to work than stay home with them. [3] Something similar happens with suburbs. Parents move to suburbs to raise their kids in a safe environment, but suburbs are so dull and artificial that by the time they're fifteen the kids are convinced the whole world is boring. [4] I'm not saying friends should be the only audience for your work. The more people you can help, the better. But friends should be your compass. [5] Donald Hall said young would-be poets were mistaken to be so obsessed with being published. But you can imagine what it would do for a 24 year old to get a poem published in The New Yorker. Now to people he meets at parties he's a real poet. Actually he's no better or worse than he was before, but to a clueless audience like that, the approval of an official authority makes all the difference. So it's a harder problem than Hall realizes. The reason the young care so much about prestige is that the people they want to impress are not very discerning. [6] This is isomorphic to the principle that you should prevent your beliefs about how things are from being contaminated by how you wish they were. Most people let them mix pretty promiscuously. The continuing popularity of religion is the most visible index of that. [7] A more accurate metaphor would be to say that the graph of jobs is not very well connected. Thanks to Trevor Blackwell, Dan Friedman, Sarah Harlin, Jessica Livingston, Jackie McDonough, Robert Morris, Peter Norvig, David Sloo, and Aaron Swartz for reading drafts of this. 14 Februar 涂抹适量？！最近不幸犯了颈椎痛。
颈椎痛是程序员的职业病，整天呆在电脑前保持一个姿势一百年不动摇当然很容易引发颈部的肌肉劳损。再者可能我平时在电脑前的姿势也不太正确，所以颈椎痛就光临我了。 在得知我颈椎痛之后，有好心人给推荐了曼秀雷敦的摩擦膏。试过之后，效果确实还可以，能比较明显的减轻痛苦。在减轻痛苦的同时，说明书上的产品用法也引起了我的注意。全文大致如下: “适用症：用于扭伤、挫伤、拉伤、劳损引起的局部肿胀和疼痛。 用法用量：局部外用。取本品，涂抹适量于患处，并轻轻揉搓，每日2－3次。” 涂抹适量？！这真是一个有意思的字眼。究竟多少才叫适量啊？是1克2克，还是一砣两砣？ “适量”这个词，看上去好像很恰当，但却是非常不精确。药品使用说明书毕竟不是文艺作品，“适量”这种文绉绉并且语义含糊的文字，根本就不应该出现。当然，这种摩擦药膏涂多涂少似乎无所谓——涂少一点大不了没效果，涂多一点最多也就是灼痛一点。但是我们不能姑息药品制造商的这种不负责任的行为——要是换成一种剂量多少直接关乎人命的药品，你再看看“适量”这个词能引起多严重的后果？
MENTHOLATUM是美国企业，没想到在中国销售的药品的产品说明书居然也能这样写。估计这也和中国的法律有关——反正中国的法律本来就不健全，对类似的行为当然更是没有严格的规定，管它怎么写呢。这不禁让我想起了美国有人在把海飞丝当饮料般喝掉后拉肚子，然后状告宝洁，宝洁败诉赔偿的故事。想必MENTHOLATUM在美国不敢写下如此这般的说明书吧。
法制社会中，法律严格而细致，看似教条、繁琐但却充分体现科学与人文关怀。法制社会的政府是依法而治。人治社会则或无法可依或有法不依，甚至无法而治，治而无法。相比之下，差距立现矣。
愿上帝保佑我们可以活着看到法制社会的那一天。
08 Februar 再见《琵琶行》偶然之中，在某网页上发现了白居易的这篇《琵琶行》。虽然说这是首长诗，但当年还是能倒背如流的——至少这是一篇中学课文嘛，嘻嘻。现在却记不得几句了。敢情曾经的满腹诗文都还给中学老师了。 相信各位看官也跟我差不多吧？ 倘若你是还能背下这首诗的奇才，请马上联系我，我请你饭局。哈哈哈。
白居易 元和十年，予左迁九江郡司马。明年秋，送客湓浦口，闻舟中夜弹琵琶者。听其音，铮铮然有京都声。问其人，本长安倡女，尝学琵琶于穆、曹二善才。年长色衰，委身为贾人妇。遂命酒，使快弹数曲。曲罢悯默。自叙少小时欢乐事，今漂沦憔悴，转徙于江湖间。予出官二年，恬然自安，感斯人言，是夕始觉有迁谪意。因为长句歌以赠之。凡六百一十二言，命曰《琵琶行》。
浔阳江头夜送客，枫叶荻花秋瑟瑟。 主人下马客在船，举酒欲饮无管弦。 醉不成欢惨将别，别时茫茫江浸月。 忽闻水上琵琶声，主人忘归客不发。 寻声暗问弹者谁，琵琶声停欲语迟。 移船相近邀相见，添酒回灯重开宴。 千呼万唤始出来，犹抱琵琶半遮面。 转轴拨弦三两声，未成曲调先有情。 弦弦掩抑声声思，似诉平生不得意。 低眉信手续续弹，说尽心中无限事。 轻拢慢捻抹复挑，初为霓裳后六幺。 大弦嘈嘈如急雨，小弦切切如私语。 嘈嘈切切错杂弹，大珠小珠落玉盘。 间关莺语花底滑，幽咽泉流水下滩。 水泉冷涩弦凝绝，凝绝不通声渐歇。 别有幽愁暗恨生，此时无声胜有声。 银瓶乍破水浆迸，铁骑突出刀枪鸣。 曲终收拨当心画，四弦一声如裂帛。 东舟西舫悄无言，唯见江心秋月白。 沉吟放拨插弦中，整顿衣裳起敛容。 自言本是京城女，家在虾蟆陵下住。 十三学得琵琶成，名属教坊第一部。 曲罢曾教善才伏，妆成每被秋娘妒。 五陵少年争缠头，一曲红绡不知数。 钿头云篦击节碎，血色罗裙翻酒污。 今年欢笑复明年，秋月春风等闲度。 弟走从军阿姨死，暮去朝来颜色故。 门前冷落鞍马稀，老大嫁作商人妇。 商人重利轻别离，前月浮梁买茶去。 去来江口守空船，绕船月明江水寒。 夜深忽梦少年事，梦啼妆泪红阑干。 我闻琵琶已叹息，又闻此语重唧唧。 同是天涯沦落人，相逢何必曾相识。 我从去年辞帝京，谪居卧病浔阳城。 浔阳地僻无音乐，终岁不闻丝竹声。 住近湓江地低湿，黄芦苦竹绕宅生。 其间旦暮闻何物，杜鹃啼血猿哀鸣。 春江花朝秋月夜，往往取酒还独倾。 岂无山歌与村笛，呕哑嘲哳难为听。 今夜闻君琵琶语，如听仙乐耳暂明。 莫辞更坐弹一曲，为君翻作琵琶行。 感我此言良久立，却坐促弦弦转急。 凄凄不似向前声，满座重闻皆掩泣。 座中泣下谁最多，江州司马青衫湿。 04 Februar ·一月一日·幸福作者：维廉·巴克莱
幸福的生活有三个不可缺的因素：
一是有希望。 二是有事做。
三是能爱人。
有希望。
亚历山大大帝有一次大送礼物，表示他的慷慨。他给了甲一大笔钱，给了乙一个省份，给了丙一个高官，他的朋友听到这件事后，对他说："你要是一直这样做下去，你自己会一贫如洗。"亚历山大回答说："我哪会一贫如洗，我为我自己留下的是一份最伟大的礼物。我所留下的是我的希望。"
一个要是只生活在回忆中，却失去了希望，他的生命已经开始终结。回忆不能鼓舞我们有力的生活下去，回忆只能让我们逃避，好像囚犯逃出监狱。
有事做。
一个英国老妇人，在她重病自知时日不多的时候，写下了如下的诗句：
现在别怜悯我，永远也不要怜悯我，
我将不再工作，永远永远不再工作。
很多人都有过失业，或者没事的时候，他就会觉得日子过得很慢生活十分的空虚。有过这种经验的人都会知道，有工作不是不幸，而是一种幸福。
能爱人。
诗人白朗宁曾写道："他望了她一眼，她对他回眸一笑，生命突然苏醒。"
生命中有了爱，我们就会变得焕发、谦卑、有生气，新的希望油然而生，仿佛有千百件事等着我们去完成。有了爱，生命就有了春天，世界也变得万紫千红。 29 Januar 认不出的初恋？大年初一闲来无聊网上瞎逛，一不小心撞到几个名人的“博”里了。徐静蕾，张靓颖，韩寒，高晓松。看来名人也是人——和你我一样，“博”也是他们的生理需要。
那就胡乱弹点感受吧。谁叫我最近写东西都意识流了呢。 徐静蕾，看上去很有气质，没想到文字闻起来也很感性。主要是其他的众多的女艺人几乎都是文盲，相比下来，徐静蕾就难能可贵了。 韩寒，人挺帅，但是博的有点痞。还有，不好好写字，开赛车干嘛？ 张靓颖，英文歌曲唱得的确不错，很空灵的感觉。不知道作为一个生活在国内的中国人，她是怎么练的？我很想知道。
他们的背景音乐。
徐静蕾，背景音乐是《十年》。难道是最近心有所触？ 张靓颖，干脆就放自己的歌。也是，她的博就是给“凉粉”们看的。不放自己的放谁的？ 韩寒的背景歌曲真老土。嗯，我不认识他。 高晓松的歌，干脆就听不到。看看，IT知识不够吧，播放器控件都搞错了。 他们的初恋。
爱的情感大家都有，爱的能力未必。——徐静蕾 在很多情况下，说一个人爱上另外一个人，不如说是爱上了爱情本身。一半一半吧，我想，爱上了50%的那个人和50%的心中的幻想，时间长了，幸运的是，幻想和现实之间的差距并不是那么大，幸福生活可以继续；不那么幸运的是，50%的幻想的肥皂泡逐渐破灭，幻想和现实出现大的差距，痛苦便随期而至。——徐静蕾
大伙顿时惊愕地望着我，说您再看看——我望着对面的美少妇——怎么看也不像当时写《同桌的你》时满脑子乱飞的那个H呀！你——你就是——他娘了腿的超级郁闷！竟然唯一一个没认出来的是自己想了很多次很多次以为最熟悉的同桌兼初恋！——高晓松
上面的文字，只能让老朱长叹一声“唉～～～”表示一下看法。即使爱的能力不存在了，“唉”的能力至少还有。不必解释，反正明白的自然明白，不明白的即使告诉了依然不明白。
唉，十年之后，我的初恋，我还能认出你吗？
附录：
25 Januar 一个人，两个人，三个人杨荻写的一篇很感性的散文。:)
成家之前的男人女人，无论多大年龄，都被称为单身。我把单身时的日子叫做一个人。结了婚，是两个人的日子开始。等到有了小孩，就是三个人的相聚了。 一个人的时候，行走在数不清的人群中，看着来来往往的头脚攒动，感觉世界是个无边的旷野，影子和心都感孤单。在人群中，眼睛有点迷离，心底却是在寻觅，期待着未知的未来，如等待着花开。嫩嫩地，象早春迎春花般的鹅黄。那时候心里不明白的是，有父母，有兄弟，有朋友，为什么还是如此孤单呢。
一个人的时候，总是在求，求学，求职，求偶，也求一个结果。盼望能不再考试，不再上晚自习，可以随意地呆在夜的深处，尽情地看月光和柳条演绎成“疏梅筛月影”的景致。没觉得一个人有多自由，倒象是被关在后山习武，无聊时只能看看山顶上的天。而那山也不是翠绿的，是石灰岩质，生不得草木，四季里都是一片单调的灰白。偶尔峰回路转处有云头花朵飘过，就是最动人的风景。读书求学时代，我并不快乐。
很想工作，拥有一份体面的职业，做大公司里的白领，穿着到膝的职业套裙，表情高傲而淡然。可以不再管母亲要钱，以金钱的名义帮母亲缓解生活的压力，表达我迫切的爱。后来才发现，我工作的地点不用那么刻意着装，我甚至不用化装就去上班，大家都素着面，用不着名牌的眼影和粉底来遮掩。只是心一点一点素下来，如盛宴过后清冷的月光。冬天最冷的时候，我在办公室里穿着厚厚的羽绒服，感觉自己身上的体温被寒冬慢慢吞噬。公司大楼没有中央空调，只有能制冷不能制热的柜式空调机，年代很久的房子里配着年代也很久的办公桌。这就是尘埃落定后我实现的梦。钱没赚到多少，母亲说，你能在我身边就是最好。
只想恋爱。希望能被一个男孩牵着手，走在春天的夜色里，暖暖地相依。读高中时有一天周末晚自习，忽然发现除了自己，教室里的另外几个人都在双双复习。情窦开的晚，或我这粒青豆太青，没人注意到。我琢磨着青橄榄的涩味，也许是人生最初体验的味道。让十七岁寂寞，有点遗憾。大学时，隔壁宿舍的女孩说，希望她的新婚之夜能被爱人用浴巾裹着抱上床，大家就趴在被子或彼此身上听取笑声一片。羞涩而向往。那个夜，同宿舍的女孩们的梦，都该和做新娘有关，也许还梦到了浴巾。还好，家乡有一个男孩一直在默默地等我，使我觉得被人惦记。那个时代，总是没有白白来过。
单身，一个人的车站，不好。孤单和寂寞，还有贫穷。因为有那么多的梦，睡眠就不塌实，辗转反侧求之不得中度着寸金的光阴。
遇到了另一半，是彼此生命中的注定。那个青年来求婚，好象待嫁而沽的东西有了买主，单身平民的自己很是幸福。这世上有一个人说想陪伴我过此生，总是一件让人温暖而不能拒绝的事情。求婚要比结婚浪漫和纯粹，求婚的时候没有丝毫金钱物质的因素，说的谈的想象的都是太虚幻境。结婚却是两个人的物质加精神的结合，有了点世俗的尘土味。而生活，正式开始于彼此闻到这尘土的现实味。
一个人的单身生活结束，两个人的日子开始，象一个小说的开头，也是童话故事的结尾。两个人的最初，小鸟一样衔枝撷泥筑巢，风雨的时候会拥在一起交颈取暖。彼时，感觉最暖的不是天上的太阳，而是回家看到自家厨房窗子里映出的灯光。一时觉得世上最亲的人不是父母，这样的念头多少让自己有些羞愧。
有一个名叫奥里森。马登的美国人写了部《女人的22条天规》，对女人列举了“男人不是你的一切的十一条理由”。就是有万条理由也不能说服女人不去爱一个男人，并且在某种程度上某个时间段会成为她的一切。一个纯粹的女人，爱情在心里总是至高无上的，超过其他任何世俗的欲念。两个人的世界，有平静也有动荡，而更多的是手捧着幸福的盒子。
两个人的日子过的有些时日了，觉得还是有点欠缺。两个人坐在沙发上看电视，中间好象该放点什么。就盼望联系彼此身体里血缘的那个人出生。女人，不做母亲，就不是完全的女人，顶多是个喜欢讨爱的孩子，总是想得到。做了别人的妈妈，就知道不求回报的给予，看问题也变得豁达和宽容，目光不再张扬，而是秋天般温静起来。在我的身体里孕育了十个月，被医生从腹中取出的那个生命，就是家里的第三个人，她问世时仅仅有三千克重。听到她呱呱的第一声哭喊，我眼里流着泪昏了过去。自此，家就完整了，三个人终于相聚。负责起一个生命的成长，也辛苦，也热闹，有点交响乐的味道。
电影《绿茶》中那个女孩说她妈妈说的，结婚前象个绿绿的核桃，挺好看的样子。结婚后才发现壳变得硬硬地，也不好看，但是却有了核桃仁。那第三个人就是我们的核桃仁，另外的两个人愿意皱起自己的身体，给她一生的保护。孩子的成长是面镜子，照得出三个人的快乐，也照出了自己的衰老。孩子一天天长大，给予她生命的那两个人却真是慢慢坚硬起自己的皮肤和身体。岁月是一面空镜子，站在镜子前的是孩子的茁壮，映出的却是父母的青春不再和疲惫。自己父亲母亲的身体更皱更卷缩，而我们这么大了，依然是他们身体保护下的核桃仁。一代一代下来，这核桃竟是壳中带核，核中有壳，如不尽的岁月。
三个人，是前世修来的相聚。这相聚，在三个人时也就到了颠峰。然后就是接受分离。叶子总会在秋天一片一片下坠，并且永远没有在春天里复苏的可能。讨了相聚的快乐，又给以分离的痛苦，上帝真的是打开一扇窗，又关上一扇门。
杨绛先生在她的《我们仨》中很平静地写到，“1997年早春，阿瑗去世。1998年岁末，钟书去世。我们三人就此失散了。现在，只剩下我一个”。一生中要有多少承受，才能那么平静地说出“我们三个就此散了”。九十多岁高龄的先生，用她九十多年的岁月告诉我们，“我清醒地看到以前当做‘我们家’的寓所，只是旅途上的客栈而已。家在哪里，我不知道。我还在寻觅归途。”每个家庭都会如此，只要是有婚姻，只要这婚姻结了果。总会先后离去，任什么也改变不来。
由一个人，增加为两个人，然后是三个人。再由三个人，减少为两个人，最后是一个人。这个过程象个大写的A，嘴再张的大点，就读出了“爱”字。从哪里升起的，再坠落到哪里，也不过是两点间的直线距离。很短的。人生不过是一场醒着的梦。 21 Januar 久违了，blog猛然发现，好久没写blog了。
最近忙春晚的节目搞得连spare time都没有了。就此写一篇吧，全文如下：
第一句，引用tank的话——“占坑”。
第二句，BLOG啊BLOG，博客啊博客——今天你“博”了没有？
哈哈，终于完成任务了。
28 Dezember Mature or Immature?1. An immature person sees world in black and white, a mature person sees world in grayscale. 2. An immature person models world using single variable, a mature person models world using multiple variables. 3. An immature person sees world as a static picture, a mature person sees world as continuously changing. It has a past, a current state and several possible future states. 4. An immature person likes to blame other people or the environment, a mature person will look into himself/herself for possible changes first. 5. An immature person gets frustrated from mistakes, a mature person learns from mistakes. 6. An immature person sees world in single layer, a mature person sees the world in multiple layers of abstractions. 7. An immature person looks for simple definitions, rules, or guidelines; a mature person can see way beyond those simplifications and get the true meaning behind them. 8. An immature person would wait for 伯乐 to find him/her; a mature man knows there are so many opportunities ahead, he/she just wishes there are multiple lives to try them one by one. 9. An immature person would BS other people a lot, a mature person learns from any people better than him/her.
Written by FengYuan. 26 Dezember 面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的面包会有的......
不要不理解上面的刷屏，这叫后现代行为艺术。 12 Dezember 珠海－中山55公里徒步[图片纪实]时间：2005年12月10日20点30分～2005年12月11日9点50分（12个多小时）
地点：珠海至中山的路上
人物：一群被认为是疯子的人，当然也包括老朱啦
事件：用双足去丈量珠海、中山两城之间的距离(即徒步55公里)
举办方：珠海逍遥驴坛、中山清风论坛
路线：起点珠海名亭，途经珠海疗养院、珍珠乐园、那洲检查站、收费站、五桂山加油站，最后到达中山市孙文纪念公园。
队名：乐逍遥4队
组员：冰烽（队长）、秦子、键盘歌手、AK、冰雪宁静（PPMM） 老朱准备的物品：红牛×2（其中1罐给了队友），康师傅劲跑×2（其中一瓶给了队友），Dove巧克力×5（和队友吃了3块），头灯×1，手电×1，5号南孚电池×4（没用上），7号南孚×4（没用上），ZealWood运动排汗袜×2（555，不够用），平角内裤×2（没地方换，哈哈哈），李宁运动裤×1，徒步鞋×1。
下面是一些相片，由于插入到这里时拉伸过，导致变形了，所以效果很差（本来我们队的冰雪宁静MM是很PP的～）。请大家看相册里面的吧，那些效果好些～
出发前1：
http://storage.msn.com/x1pbglk-vqL4BtHmZqb4PpgpYrIHZ2ILDbAa3OzMVpCZZ_3mA1ykszRWSD5AYo50_Ok0QBB5nXpJDBhOi6QDjq5n-5zlCixtPqBavcgOvkHVgmqb1vYmw6dbN2vA-Jqqy6qJnQCRHdg3VgbjlCUYAQH0A
出发前2：
http://storage.msn.com/x1pbglk-vqL4BtHmZqb4PpgpYrIHZ2ILDbAa3OzMVpCZZ_Pk1oKofPZMn9FcNT7wssEen85HmbZ7VoIZf2X6eCc0Oh8W1_9zvQPpJpbT5yIdRKaouY0NDOWe_T1wkxwrRXOJBBUdkC32T7Zh6cKJ1Pvmek8zHJ5qT_S
出发前3： http://storage.msn.com/x1pbglk-vqL4BtHmZqb4PpgpYrIHZ2ILDbAa3OzMVpCZZ8d6CDVBbMUVk85TeXBpeQdh4LMOTMIIV3rarxLvrq-2BqcLoNeqYjiAI2l_0Pl-9qYMWtxnSWzdfGDMh1uyHPkM_YO6xWjLaCD2RLcnZWAo3bxIAZfKcrk
出发前4： http://storage.msn.com/x1pbglk-vqL4BtHmZqb4PpgpYrIHZ2ILDbAa3OzMVpCZZ_cASu4XefLjqkWfb59nNWzLf171kbB9GdZgqIV3pB6sPzs0plj52tNg5cUJjF07HtQ7EChS_9v_JqxJRljyHm4C3x4yGuNRZrM4PzOvwtycQ乐逍遥大队合影（有4小队），其中有漂亮美眉哦～～：
http://storage.msn.com/x1pbglk-vqL4BtHmZqb4PpgpYrIHZ2ILDbAa3OzMVpCZZ9mwSOjiC1MnRN-54PjXWTNISTWaBSt12RjCOwKRbEJUuVdefS2sRltY3wgzn1ZfmvNpilDmhmTD4-tfvFXr-QTePwVIlut94YSjRdflxtN5dMA-KK_d75k
走到26.5公里（那洲检查站）时，我在晾脚。怎么样，够大吧？ 哈哈哈 :D
http://storage.msn.com/x1pbglk-vqL4BtHmZqb4PpgpYrIHZ2ILDbAa3OzMVpCZZ-ha6fTbwbgS66c-Q5YHa9Q6PbVoSYY_uKx_txY-wW655XGipfzc_KldveiKCkU_tuhrJqInMbx4jRzAjq6XOjrpCpmXHLyhtGmJgu1Qnzehw
到达终点中山市孙文公园。时间是9点50。休息。
http://storage.msn.com/x1pbglk-vqL4BtHmZqb4PpgpYrIHZ2ILDbAa3OzMVpCZZ88xrIO88gLujwj28H98FSTMvOUfqVMoghJOwbDf3ywo-r7KjtvQKX361NeDuyDwJaII1WI5sXok15JCHSUwNYUDzV8uTQR-PqWnIB1DwA5RDx_657TdoYb
休息2：
http://storage.msn.com/x1pbglk-vqL4BtHmZqb4PpgpYrIHZ2ILDbAa3OzMVpCZZ8F8eQNi1rayjwf1U3SlhRgS7rMFlUlZCrc8aKh8_VLZGELAqOc1dIUR0MRw744_stfNMndnfVkr2CG9lWKLWZWe5pHAx_lBKo_hLItf_vq6hTEei6oeZyu
休息3：
http://storage.msn.com/x1pbglk-vqL4BtHmZqb4PpgpYrIHZ2ILDbAa3OzMVpCZZ9w7y1GEijDnp63K_O61gx5gw6V5LPfusPNIVNCuXShpgT9r1POs4tG0WLEUu9UFjwcGrJYi8PdMs6YL-X7qMi6SbxQiwzXDiHkyoWZqMCraEEBBfwKlIyz
被蹂躏过的袜子（还有一双，可惜半路的时候搞丢了~~~:( ） http://storage.msn.com/x1pbglk-vqL4BtHmZqb4PpgpYrIHZ2ILDbAa3OzMVpCZZ9LkqmtMKNUZyYx8CigxbHXCOHI4ptQAOyNrYY-E4-mHvT0Kl9qLnfEqwxSyrF91aKgOmz5MoF-JycsZITVkRWQhX57Mi4Zauv9HgtZoLejg05sWhLzQt0K
签到卡的反面，那几个动物图标就是在每个检查点盖的章。 http://storage.msn.com/x1pbglk-vqL4BtHmZqb4PpgpYrIHZ2ILDbAa3OzMVpCZZ-BjKLHm5tLWmKqHMsQmMuubR5YEdCBWZxRuQ3uK8SqkbATq6cMLZxhdfZt6OIxAvXwlkclRMN3uzuAcNqdn-PXx4bSGfESi99LESNPQbfcIQ
签到卡正面：
http://storage.msn.com/x1pbglk-vqL4BtHmZqb4PpgpYrIHZ2ILDbAa3OzMVpCZZ93VupFLHpqMh2iaEp-rfzhPWFK_WOf3syp9zLbhTOPWhFkM3T9VOFVKyryvzuOV7mjLQLQLVW7_X2ePdes32dk-C4-nM2uN1qizzrShM8eLA
照明设备，头灯和手电： http://storage.msn.com/x1pbglk-vqL4BtHmZqb4PpgpYrIHZ2ILDbAa3OzMVpCZZ-sdse-MwDL8m8g-pgQj8KTYT9QZEH53h3s2-ZAOcDgNSNgmPEsHPB3zOzlbvDXMspazRBXNaCQQMssXAJUshcV9izqq6EwjvSnsxgcCq2-k93H5YD4au-6
运动裤：
http://storage.msn.com/x1pbglk-vqL4BtHmZqb4PpgpYrIHZ2ILDbAa3OzMVpCZZ9S-0554JN6eKNbtSmQazFLNEaUsINxkffW9-cJ7cVRLn5RkvudcuwakaEH8ary-QKxJzs45J5WfvP04PtWChC04mCpik8GrGYZ1ELl0Mrp2fExLmoPTkbv
被蹂躏的徒步鞋1： http://storage.msn.com/x1pbglk-vqL4BtHmZqb4PpgpYrIHZ2ILDbAa3OzMVpCZZ-1-xvuhqG3GfOXDkWJw_I0om4qK2ivwKkszFDmEFVA0f7BFFoLKDa_-79YlTX4SYVVaFIsJM7OrTGrg2JR1JscpyLtpQZEP_CcfLKR7iIVxxGLgEmIRHOf
被蹂躏的徒步鞋2： http://storage.msn.com/x1pbglk-vqL4BtHmZqb4PpgpYrIHZ2ILDbAa3OzMVpCZZ9OtTopzYoU6fIpTTxBLobXG4Nf0rkCQvwWU2NwiUDSp3OdOUGYiZTcGEwMnE4gP0ZV7QrrUbJ6T83R3YzTi-6zvUn9Lm5w5V4eRxUe1jGeKw
走完全程的证书： http://storage.msn.com/x1pbglk-vqL4BtHmZqb4PpgpYrIHZ2ILDbAa3OzMVpCZZ_Pxymp9q6vtHIlhjuaovPib2c4optIXG9YDsxJNMHc8PRcx-UdoqUTxNOOy-cB-VHaCEmvRxPkTWyESBxGvL-kQ2U2PYWN1karAgvnuF9znxL80-OzBKOp
09 Dezember 怎一种淡然！一头犁牛半块田，收也凭天，荒也凭天；
粗茶淡饭饱三餐，早也香甜，晚也香甜； 布衣得暖胜丝棉，长也可穿，短也可穿； 草舍茅屋有几间，行也安然，待也安然； 雨过天晴驾小船，鱼在一边，酒在一边； 夜归儿女话灯前，今也有言，古也有言； 日上三竿我独眠，谁是神仙，我是神仙！ 偶尔在网上得见此文，很有感触，这是怎样一种淡然啊！
03 Dezember 隔壁的琴声每天晚上回家，总能听到隔壁家里传来的叮咚的钢琴声。弹琴的是一个大约十岁左右的小女孩。每天就这样弹着，练着，似乎没有停歇的时候。我不知道她是否会成为明日的音乐家或者是钢琴演奏家——成为音乐家要有天赋，光有练习是不够的。但我们也不能说她就一定成为不了音乐家，毕竟，可能性总是存在的。
付出未必有结果，但不努力就肯定没希望。 20 November Get busy living, or get busy dying
"I guess it comes down to a simple choice: get busy living, or get busy dying." 是啊，人活在世，大概只有这两条选择——忙着活或者是忙着死。每个时刻，希望都会与失望同在。只是看你如何选择而已。Yep, "hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"。Andy选择了希望与生存，所以他成功了，逃出了Shawshank监狱。
或许我们应该记住这些发人深省的话语： Fear can hold you prisoner, hope can set you free. Hope springs eternal in the human breast. It takes a strong man to save himself, and a great man to save another. Some birds aren't meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are just too bright. These walls are kind of funny like that. First you hate them, then you get used to them. Enough time passed, get so you depend on them. That’s institutionalized. I guess it comes down to a simple choice: get busy living or get busy dying.
电影The Shawshank Redemption(中译名《肖申克的救赎》)，每个人都应该看三遍，至少。 |
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